bleh

how can it be possible to miss someone so much after it's only been a year of spending everyday together?

i can't believe it's over, so soon, it was fun but the fun happened to fast mixed in with the waiting.

i hope i don't cry, i believe in you.

updated

first off HAPPY BIRFDAY megan(: and happy BELATED BIRFDAY alina hahah since i haven't been on here in hella long. tomorrow i leave right before lunch to catch a plane to go to muh sisters graduation(: i can't wait. man these last few weeks have been packed with things for me to get done. like homework, alinas birthday megans birthday susans graduation the concert the rod graduation and dealing with my grandpa =/

speaking of which he's in surgery right now =/ he's getting a bipass done right now and he's had his chest open and his heart stopped for like 2 days now. hopefully they'll close it tonight so he can hurry up and recover. i DID start crying yesterday when my dad said that he has a chance that he might not make it out of surgery but i know he will.

faggot kids like johnny just piss me off. today i had a long chat with julian during 6th period. it was about that kid. he told me things about how he still likes me and we were just talking hella much about it. so then i texted him later to see if this was true..of course it was. UUGGHH! freakin 6 billion people in this world and it happens to me. and it gets worse. on myspace, hella blogs from him saying things like i wish it'd go back to the way it was when we were together. WTF first of all that'll never happen EVVERRR and second ARE YOU GOING THROUGH SOME TYPE OF PSYCHOLOGICAL CAHNGES IN YOUR LIFE? you're acting hellof bipolar, like that one night you randomly texted me and you were talkin' all this mess about how you hate me and how i shouldn't talk to you and to stay out of your sight and how i'm a BITCH and that we're done! i was SO FREAKIN HAPPY when you said that. i thought i finally got you out of my life! i finally got you to not like me and actually hate me, but NO you decide to frikin' appologize and say you should've controlled yourself -.- wtf you just make me so mad sometimes, or ALL THE TIME. don't go killin' yourself now i don't want to have to save your ass again.

so far, so alright.

well i haven't written in a while. but so far i'm aiiight, today i went to the gym with megan (: we got a good 'workout' haha we saw hecka people in the mall and we looked hideous hahah. we hecka got drinks from anthony and this kid named chad after they got out of the theatre. but it was coke and i HATE coke. oh well we were thirsty. we saw alina!!! her hair looked so cute(: and her little sister is adorable (X well anyways i have to go pack. going to texas tomorrow! should be crakin(:

have a fantabulous spring break *cough cough* ...*cough*

SEVEN DAYS

SEVEN DAYS LEFT! till friday the thirteenth. i will have SO much fun with my friend megan waylerr(: and i can't wait till this weekend when we make our shirts!! too bad i HATE how i can't tell anyone about it till it happens. ughh oh well it's a SURPRISE! but yeah, this week has been an amazing week. On monday it was a six period day so classes were pretty short, BUT then on tuesday and wednesday we had to stay in the gym for three hours STRAIGHT, cuz the sophmores were testing. we had sooooo much fun(: and we had helllllaa food. then after that all the classes were like.. 40 minutes long. but yesterday was regular schedual, but it was still kinda fun. hopefully today goes well so it can be a perfect week(; well YESTERDAY, i was supposed to go to soccer conditioning.. haha but it was raining! i was FOR SURE it was canceled cuz the coach even said; 'if it's raining we probably wont have practice, but on TUESDAY i don't care what the weather is, we're practicing.', and it wasn't tuesday yesterday! haha. but oh well, too bad i still stayed after school cuz roman had basketball practice..and guess whattt, they saw me there.. hah what an excuse. but anyways i seriously need to get a life, at least for in the mornings.

good day,

Today was a pretty good day(:, well first of all this morning i made some frosting for alyssa's brownie. then in second period i did basically nothing except EVERYONE thought i was high and thought my brownies were under the influence -.-' then this kid had the NERVE to explain the process of making weed brownies, wow, could've lived without that info. but then it was fun walking to fourth with heather and alyssa, i found if i ever need shoes alyssa's loker is the place to go haha. fourth was alright except the spaghetti was delicious(: too bad alyssa's brownie got taken away. sixth period was plain boring i actually did my work AND exra credit...great. FREAKING TYLER, switched out. hella gay. if you're reading this you need to get a life.

friggin disneyland..

disneyland last week was pretty much a waste of time, didn't go on any GOOD rides. oh well. at least i got rachel's present(: something WAS supposed to happen today *coughcough* fight. but i guess it was for the better.. but still. got me all worked up over nothing just to be followed -.-', but at lunch went to that biotechnology meeting, haha i think i will do it even though i'll have to take 0 period pe next year or just do it over summer which i'll HATE. but oh well, i want to make medicine for a life anyways -.- heather, kiara, and Cj will do it together haha. and HOPEFULLY if i make it i'll do that second level one junior year. i love how i'm talking about SCHOOL.

oh happy dayy,

Even though i HATE pink. haha. rachels party was CRAKIN even though we had no plans on doing anything except watching a movie buahah. megan only watched like 3 seconds of it. the rest of the party was just a BOMB OF LAUGHTER omg we could NOT stop, i woke up and just started laughing, okay maybe i didn't but you get the idea. haha. it was really good tho (: i love my friends